Gnus: Nature's answer to the Volvo. And my update on the things in sports that I thought were interesting/could be joked about.
New Zealand scored its first goal, ever, in the World Cup, the NBA's mandate that the Finals go to a Game 7 was once again carried out by the dutiful Celtics, who bothered playing for only a quarter last night, all of which means I'm thinking about the NFL, and specifically, Albert Haynesworth getting paid $21 million to sit around.
See, Haynesworth's been unhappy with his role on the Redskins -- they probably haven't given him enough interns' heads to stomp on -- and so the Redskins reportedly offered Haynesworth the chance to find another team, provided he do so before April 1, when Haynesworth was due $21 million bucks. Now, having paid $21 million to a guy who once kicked his own teammate in the chest and had to be restrained, the 'Skins are finding out Haynesworth isn't exactly a "team player" and they're upset. Said coach Mike Shanahan:
"He decided to take our check and we're very disappointed he wasn't here today."
Disappointed? Haynesworth's whole MO is to take the money and not show up; after he got a big deal from the 'Skins, he played in two fewer games than the year before with the Titans, and recorded 16 fewer tackles. His sacks dropped from 8.5 in 2008 to 4 in 2009. Now, you've given him $21 million before he actually arrived at camp, and think he's going to try?
Hold it: I've just had a thought. Get me Dan Snyder on the phone so that I can tell him that I'll refuse to show up in his camp for the bargain basement price of, say, $10 million.
No, make it 11 mil. I've got a family to feed.
Here's the kind of action that gets you a $100 million payday in Dan Snyder's world:
And here's the obligatory hot sports chick
Seriously: That's the first image that comes up if you Google Image Search "obligatory hot sports chick." I love the Internet.