Friday, July 29, 2011

Albert Haynesworth continues to get paid?

This is a shared post between Thinking The Lions and Nonsportsmanlike Conduct! Teamwork!

A Poem For Albert Haynesworth, Composed Solely Of Media Descriptions
Barry Petchesky

Awful Albert, Abysmal Albert: Attitude-afflicted wash-up. Massive and huge and fat and lazy and difficult.

A sadistic sulky mountain, disgruntled.

Disgruntled,
Disgruntled,
Disgruntled.

Pain in the locker room, thorn in the side, waste of roster space.

Discontented malcontent, fickle painful volatile handful. Motivationally-challenged mess. Ten-dollar underachiever.

A controversial character-concern with character issues. So-called troubled, talented and troubled, troubling troublesome trouble.

Horrible aching pain in the gall bladder.

_______________________________________________________________

About the Poem: I read this on Deadspin last night; it was apparently written to celebrate the fact that yet another team is going to pay Albert Haynesworth, large man, to sulk his way through another football season.

Haynesworth, keep in mind, is not just a man who doesn't appreciate that he's been given the ability to earn a living playing a game, and not just a living but millions of dollars -- ESPN has a salary calculator that lets you determine how long it takes an NFL player to earn what you make. In Haynesworth's case, he makes my yearly salary every 9/10 of a game. (ESPN also puts it into perspective by pointing out that I will have to work 148+ years to make what Haynesworth makes in a year.

So why does Albert Haynesworth pout? Why did he sulk his way through NFL season after NFL season?

Maybe because he's a horrible human being. Here's one of the things Albert Haynesworth has done:



Do you suppose the NFL owners are paying him in spite of that? Or because of that?

I had a talk the other day with a friend about what it should take to disqualify you from playing in the NFL. If trying to stomp a man's head into pulp doesn't meet that hurdle, what does?

And why does our society continue to pay this man millions of dollars?

About the Actress: Justin Pierce, genius creator of Wonderella, reminded me yesterday that she existed, so here's Danielle Fishel -- just over 30 now, and just qualified for the Friday's Sunday's Poem Hot Actress.

_____________________________________________________________________

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17 comments:

Rogue Mutt said...

You have to love him going to the Patriots. And with Ochocinco! Maybe they can get TO too while they're bringing in dysfunctional players. Birds of a feather flock together, right? Although these are like the slimy birds you find after an oil spill.

robin williams said...

I am glad it was an enjoyable experience for you. I think that you should definitely do it again sometime and hopefully I will be able to make it to that one.
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