Friday, October 7, 2011

An alien invasion, you say? Well, THAT has never been done before! (RE: What You Said)

Time again for comment roundup-- now featuring a Dane Cook joke, some great music, and, at the very end, my WHO TO FOLLOW ON TWITTER -- picking out the best comments on all my blogs and responding to them.

Before I go on, though, have you checked out:

IO17: humans have been overtaken by them, a race of aliens who came to what used to be Earth with two demands. Now, a century later, a second race of invaders has arrived to battle over what humanity has been, and what it will be. A horror/sci-fi classic in the making!

Click here to read it.





Now, on to your comments:

On my post "... (The I Should Have A Catchy Title For Posts Like This Post)" where I compared the Chargers' new brand of wine to the ultra-classy gnome bank San Diego offers on their website, Rogue Mutt pointed out that the Chargers don't just steal hope from their fans, they also take other teams' ideas:

Every year the Red Wings have a charity wine tasting party and one of their former players even has his own brand of wine. So the Chargers stole that idea from us! Not sure who stole the gnome from whom though.


I figure they stole the gnome from Travelocity, or from King Of The Hill:




My Off The Top Of My Head List of sci-fi stories that aren't Star Wars or Star Trek also caused Rogue to point out that I missed V and something called Silent Running


The top of my list would have been "V" (the original not the reboot I never watched) followed by Robotech (or Macross in Japan) and "The Forever War" by Joe Haldeman. And Transformers if that counts--there was a TV series, several actually.

What was "The Black Hole"? There was a "Robot Chicken" skit about a new Special Edition of The Black Hole and they just keep showing one of the stupid little robots like in the poster going down this corridor. "Action!!!" the announcer says, trying to make it sound exciting, which I take it it's not. Though when I think of that I think of that "Silent Running" movie where some guy was on board a spaceship with some plants and a couple of robots. Why hasn't anyone rebooted that yet? Oh right because we only care about rebooting stupid '80s movies, not stupid '70s movies. Then after I think of "Silent Running" the movie I think of the song "Silent Running" by Mike and the Mechanics that has nothing to do with the movie and actually sounds more like it should have been the theme song for "Red Dawn," the remake of which was made in Michigan and is due out at some point, or maybe it already came out and flopped. I have no idea.

When I get really bored at work I launch into these stream of consciousness comments.

I'm not sure how you get from V to Mike + The Mechanics, but I did think, when V was originally on TV, that the alien girl who turned out to be a lizard was hot, which then caused me to be rather confused because I was attracted to an alien lizard. Being a teen is hard!






Also, I researched it, because that's what I do, and she wasn't actually an alien at all; she was a teenager who sympathized with the aliens and got pregnant by one, which really makes her kind of a 1983 version of Bristol Palin, if you think about it. Her name was Blair Tefkin:



Link
What's weird is that when I began writing this post, I didn't actually think it would be primarily about aliens invading the Earth, but let's role with that idea and move on to why Stephen Hayes thinks monkeys are better than people:


I never put much stock in the notion of monkeys randomly typing and eventually ending up penning Hamlet. It's like speculating on how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. Quite silly, but there's another issue to be addressed. Its quite possible that we humans need to create works of art because we're inferior to animals, who exist contentedly without the need for such things. In a perfect world there probably wouldn't be a need for art--it pains me to say. Monkeys, and all other animals, live in a perfect world provided we leave them alone. An argument can be made that this makes them superior to humans. If a monkey ever did peck out Shakespeare, I hope it would have the good sense to hit the delete button.

That was left on my post ranting about how a blogger claimed to have finally proven a thought experiment involving an infinite number of monkeys, and I never thought that my blogging, which is art, after all, proves that I'm inferior to monkeys, who don't feel the need to create art but will, at times, throw their poop at people.

Which is no reason to not own one, if you'll spare the double negative:




Anyway, hope you weren't thrown off by the fact that I didn't label that as NSFW, and also that it didn't really talk about owning a monkey at all. If there's one problem that plagues society, it's people mislabeling their pirated Dane Cook Youtube videos and making it hard for me to copy them here in a way that makes sense. That and Republicans.

Rogue Mutt commented on that same post by noting that Dark Matter is more than an ice cream flavor I'm inventing, it's also an Andrew Bird song:



So now you've got that going for you.

Author Michael Offutt made clear, in response to my post about going to Apple Fantasy Camp (SPOILER ALERT! It has nothing to do with Steve Jobs and instead has a lot to do with Macintoshes) that while Mr Rose was in the knife business, he was in the Understanding Allusions To John Irving Business:


I love aquariums. I had no idea you needed advanced tickets. It sounds like you learned a lot about apples...kinda like Homer Wells learned about Apples in the Cider House Rules. And yes...that's where Rogue's quote comes from in case you are wondering :)


See? Read my blogs and you will be fully-equipped to take part in society, provided that all you want to do in society is go to aquariums and read John Irving. Not at the same time. Well, you could, if you wanted to. I don't see why you couldn't, in fact.

That should be a thing: People Reading John Irving In Aquariums. That will be some more art I'll invent, since nobody has yet offered me a jillion dollars for the last art I invented.

Where were we? Oh, yeah: Alien invasions, and how Stephen Hayes managed to take my clever references to the Ship of Theseus philosophical question and make it all about seeing Dale Arden in skimpy clothing:

Aren't both of them derivative of Flash Gordon? If I had to pick between Star Trek and Star Wars, I'd pick Star Trek. I like the political ramifications of Star Trek while Star Wars is more of a comic book. But Star Wars has always had the better special effects.

That was in response to the way I managed to take Star Wars and Star Trek and deconstruct them down to "Jennifer Aniston as Slave Leia."

But I posted Slave Leia there, so here's Dale Arden:



In what really looks a lot like Slave Leia getup, doesn't it? You may be on to something, Stephen, but I have to point out that monkeys, for all their perfection, never thought to dress hot women up in metal bikinis, which proves that evolution works.

While I've been writing this, I went on to listen to Andrew Bird's Cataracts, because that's what I do, and I thought it worth sharing:




I like the whistle part. I once wrote a song, called If I Was Paul McCartney, that had a "Whistle Part Reprise" in it.

I'm not even kidding about that. You can hear the song here. And two other songs I wrote and played, because once I was going to be a rock star along with a famous writer. You could also get Big Mouth Frog t-shirts. I recommend listening to my song "The Big Mouth Frog Blues," too. It's awesome. Seriously. It is.

I'd also completely forgotten I put those online.

I should note that the line "What if I was Tom Brady/And I'd just won the Super Bowl" was written before VideoGate, and also that the point of the song was that it would change and always be the last person to win the Super Bowl. When it was first written, the line was "What if I was Brett Favre/and I'd just won the Super Bowl."

I should also note that I am correct, in that song, that the Pope is not allowed to date. I went to Catholic school for three years, after all.

On to more alien invasions, only not so much, as this is more of a "Kids Playing With Lockers" type of thing; my photo essay of Mr Bunches and Mr F messing around in the locker room at the health club turned out to be a glass-half-full moment for Anna:
your boys give me hope that having kids of my own someday won't be totally terrible ( :

Anna, having kids is supereasy. Provided that you also have a Sweetie to take care of them for you, leaving you free to do stuff like "take them to the park where they'll accidentally fall into a lake but it totally wasn't your fault".

Keep the comments coming! In closing, let's look at Rogue Mutt's unique insight into Colts football:
I bet that cheerleader could throw for more yards than Curtis Painter.

I'm guessing Rogue wasn't looking at her quarterback rating, if you know what I mean.*




*I actually don't know what I mean, there. But it sounded good.

Why don't you try reading, and commenting on...

The Best Of Everything
: Our opinions are righter than yours: Everything you never thought you wanted to know about pop culture!

Nonsportsmanlike Conduct! The sports blog for people who hate sports and hate blogs.

AfterDark
: Your home for great horror stories, now featuring "IO17," a sci-fi/horror story about what humanity might be.

Thinking The Lions: Make Life More Interesting! By reading how I live MY life!

Lesbian Zombies Are Taking Over The World! In the future, everyone will eat squid jerky, and the fate of the 73 dimensions will rest on the slim sexy shoulders of Rachel, who once was a pop singer but now just might be the queen of the lesbian zombies.

You might also want to read:

SLCKismet: Author Michael Offut's blog features amazing gifs, excellent reviews of books, movies, and TV shows, and also lots of thoughts on writing and culture.

Every Other Writer Has A Blog, Why Can't I? Rogue Mutt blogs about writing and how you're doing it wrong, reviewing and how you're doing it wrong, movies and how they're wrong. He's grumpy, but he's also right.

[i like that]: Anna's blog recently featured brownies that may or may not have pop rocks, and also every day has an amazing sense of wonder and optimism. You can't read her blog without smiling the rest of the day.

The Chubby Chatterbox: Stephen Hayes is an award-winning illustrator who has written a paranormal romance, among other things, and whose blog makes you think about the details of things.
Link

PERSON I RECOMMEND FOLLOWING ON TWITTER!

@forwardwithkurt:


The name of the documentary was "The Undefeated". Well, I guess you can't be defeated if you don't run. Clever strategy.


Kurt Baron's a local (Madison) talk show host at WTDY. His couple of hours on the air each day bring a fresh spin to business, politics, and local life. Sure, he's wrong on the gun issue, but don't hold that against him.




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