Okay, so this has nothing to do with sports at all, but you don't come to this blog for sports information, do you? Of course not. You come for scantily-clad women, and stay for the Updates On God, which I provide you with because I am the number one news source people turn to to find out what God has been up to.
Today's Update on God: God has revealed to Apple that he is a Christian god, and Apple then revealed it to the world inadvertently via Siri, which is being heralded as a breakthrough in artificial intelligence but is nothing more than Heinlein's Gay Deceiver before she got the Turing mode update and became self-aware...
... that might be the most obscure thing I've ever typed. Watch this video and then I'll explain:
|The Colbert Report||Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c|
|Talking iPhone 4S|
1. Siri, when asked about God, clearly asked Colbert only if he was looking for churches -- not mosques or synagogues or, say, the Acropolis. So either God is a Christian God and wants nothing to do with all those other religions or Apple is trying not to offend Republicans by suggesting that if they say God they might want to go to a mosque.
2. Siri isn't any big deal; from what I can tell it just keys in on code words and provides pre-programmed responses to help you say more code words so it can provide results to you, which brings up
3. In The Number Of The Beast, by Robert Heinlein, Zebadiah John Carter owns a plane/car that he calls "Gay Deceiver." Gay Deceiver is voice-activated and responds to Zeb's commands with a variety of responses; while it seems intelligent, it's not. Zeb explains that he just had someone record a variety of responses and then weighted them to be repeated back to him in varying amounts.
That's what Siri is.
And everyone who lined up to buy the iPhone 4s got ripped off.
But, if it will make you feel better:
They won last night, didn't they? They did -- so there you go: actual sports information.
Also: the headline to this post is true, and the story is as aggressively lame as you suspect it might be.