Sunday, May 20, 2012

I know exactly ONE story about Zeus. (Update on God!)





You know what they say: You can't spell Tebow without using J-E-S-U-S.

Wait, they say that, right? Someone must say that, otherwise Tim Tebow's lawyers wouldn't be filing a suit claiming that the use of Jesus' name on a Jets-style logo infringed on His Holy Copyrightness (a/k/a Tim Tebow.)

Here's the offending shirt and ad copy:



The shirt itself is green, or white, and while it makes no reference to Tebow himself, the ad copy surrounding it does rely on a lot on Tebow -- saying that now he's in New York, it's "Jets for Jesus" time, which, I'll note, is already a group on Facebook.

You know what group I look forward to seeing on Facebook?  "I Got Suckered into Buying Facebook Stock even though there's no real way to monetize that site and GM just pulled it's ads off it because nobody clicks ads on Facebook."

LIKE!

GM also, by the way, announced it won't run an ad in the 2013 Super Bowl broadcast, calling the ads "too expensive."

What do all these things have in common?  Let's do the math:


Obama was elected president +

The federal government then took over GM +

GM now won't advertise on Facebook and the Super Bowl, which are the two biggest things in the world that everyone pays attention to even though nobody really likes them and they're usually boring unless they involve Eli Manning +

Jesus is forced to raise money by selling t-shirts +

Lawyers threaten to sue Jesus over that =

_________________________________________________________________

Godless communism is ruining America because we elected a Kenyan president.


Math never lies, people.  Even though it's all based on unproveable assumptions.  In other Tebow-related news, just like his idol/Trademark infringing Savior, Tebow brings a lot to the table when it comes to inspiring people via meals.  Jesus had his Last Supper, Tebow has his New York sandwiches, the munching of which shows his clear leadership abilities to teammate Darrelle Revis:


"Some people have it and some guys don't," Revis [told reporters] "I just think the passion, it's the passion within, of him wanting to be a leader, wanting to win. You see it all the time - eating lunch you see it. Walking down the hallway you see it."

What is it, exactly, that you see?   The ability to hurl thunderbolts and/or turn into a swan, apparently.  Added Revis:


“He’s like that cartoon character Zeus."
 Which means that if Revis is right, we can look forward this scenario:  The Jets, in about game 3, trailing the opposing team by 14, have the fans getting restless after Sanchez hurls another interception.  As he trots off the field, we'll see Rex Ryan bellowing



That's right.  Just like Jesus is every superhero, now Tim Tebow is every God. 

14 comments:

PT Dilloway, Superhero Author said...

It would have been funny if they'd traded Tebow to the Titans. Then you could have Jesus the Titan.

I'm not sure why analysts were surprised the Facebook IPO fizzled. We should be applauding people for remembering the .com bubble bursting back in 2000. Of course a lot of people might own that stock without knowing it if their 401K funds are invested in a fund that bought some shares. But really, if you asked people the last time they clicked on a Facebook ad, how many people would have ever done that?

I follow some shows and authors and stuff like that because sometimes you can get behind the scenes stuff and giveaways and such. That's a much more useful way to run a brand Facebook page than ads no one's going to click on.

Though really I'm not sure when was the last time I bought anything because of an ad. Sometimes a sandwich or something I might buy if it's new just to see if it's any good. I sure as hell didn't buy my car because of an ad. I mean some things you want to put a bit more thought into.

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