Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Stories I Wrote, Etc. 5 (250=1)

Stories I wrote, Etc. 5

How to invent a better vacuum cleaner.

First you need a space station, the more geosynchronously orbiting the better.

Then add a man. This man realizes suddenly that he is an astronaut, suddenly because he was not until this moment an astronaut, or existing. This has been done by an outside force. The outside force is you.

It turns out you can create things! You created that space station, and the confused astronaut inside it! Inadvertently you created also a world for the space station to orbit around. You probably didn't realize you were doing that, but there it is: a world full of people worshipping you.

Before you get too comfortable, remember they will be asking you for things. They will want warmth, shelter, food, people to love them, answers to questions. Questions like What is lightning? Where is the best hunting? Why did my father have to die when I hadn't hardly gotten to know him? While you're trying to answer those, they will want their world to rotate so there is day and night. They will want waterfalls creating spray-rainbows so you will have to position the Sun just so.

They will want the ability to create amazing guitar licks, awesome souffles, children free of disease. Keep the sun shining! It won't do that on its own. and hey! Your astronaut, did you forget about him? Gods don't forget people, not Gods who want to remain employed.

And where's my better vacuum?


In 250=1, I write stories that are exactly 250 words long, including the title.  And some of them, like this, I dictate as I drive to and from work, so there's that.  Here's a list of all the 250-word stories I've written.


Pat Dilloway said...

yeah, where is my vacuum, dang it! But I'll try not to let all these god powers go to my head.

Andrew Leon said...

Why did my vacuum quit working a few weeks ago? What are going to do about that, hmm?

If I'm going to create people, I'm going to create them without all of those questions.

Briane P said...

Andrew you just gave me an jdea for another story! Award yourself 2 vacuums!

PT: you I might trist with those powers. Me, I would NOT.

Andrew Leon said...

From you? Are you buying me two vacuum cleaners? Because, really, I just need one. Can I trade the other one for something else?

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