Sunday, August 11, 2013

In the Beginning, 3 (250=1)

In The Beginning, 3:

In the beginning there was God and it was dark. So God said Let there be light. Then God had to decide what kind of light ought to be, because there's lots and lots of different kinds of light, at least there were once God thought there were. In fact, there were instantly so many different kinds of light that God got confused, so now confusion existed.

That wasn't what God had wanted, but rather than fret over it he tried instead separating Heaven and Earth but had to first invent distances, so there was that. Miles?? Kilometers? For a while God thought He might go with presaerioa, which is unit of measurement so large it can only be comprehended by an omniscient deity. He scrapped that idea.

It was during that early phase that God invented both swearing, and the law of unintended consequences.

By the time He got around to making people God had pretty much had it with the whole project. It's not like He was slacking off per se but He would have had to admit, had anyone asked Him that He put a lot more effort and thought into the stuff He did earlier in the day.

I mean, God would have told any hypothetical interviewer, Have you seen the peacock? Or volcanoes? If I'm being honest God would have added I'd say I could have done a little better with people.

But nobody ever even tries to interview God, anymore.

In 250=1, I write stories that are exactly 250 words long, including the title.  Here's a list of ALL OF THE STORIES LIKE THAT WHICH I EVER WROTE.


Chris K. said...

He hasn't updated his phone number in too long! Thanks for sharing this.

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Andrew Leon said...

I want to interview God, and what I want to know is what the heck was up with the mosquito.

Briane P said...


The mosquito was probably a rush job, like the way I might paint the last corner of the bedroom and hope that nobody notices that there's a lot of smudges and it's only one coat, but it was HOT and it took FOUR WEEKS.


I'll check it out.

Briane P said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
A Beer For The Shower said...

This reminds me of that quote from Dogma: "And remember, even God has a sense of humor. Just look at the platypus."

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