Saturday, November 30, 2013

It’s the Higgs Boson Xmas Special! (250=1)

It’s the Higgs Boson Xmas Special!

I shouldn’t be here,” Higgs crooned into his helmet-mike.

“Higgs, radio silence!” warned CommCent.

Baby it’s cold in space,” Higgs sang, a quavery falsetto.


My ship’s in the clear,” Higgs continued singing.

An Armageddon-Class cruiser appeared, or mostly  appeared, the ship so large only about 1/5 of it appeared in any given dimension, the rest being in alternate universes.

“Baby no hiding place,” Higgs sang, the high voice again.

1,400 different plasma cannons began firing, heating the universe around him but each one missing him (just barely!)

Higgs twisted, turned his ship, spiraled his ship, keeping his finger calm on the mauve button, not pressing it.




The bright red plasmas were joined by greens of detonators mines flung from every surface of the enemy ship, exploding into intricate snowflake-shaped deadly patterns.

This battle has been” Higgs sang, “—Nice that you’d drop in” in a higher key.

He thumbed the mauve button, then. The universe shifted around: every atom of the enemy ship inverted (a neat trick, and fun to watch), along with the plasma and the mines, all turned inside-out, everything for a billion siriometers suddenly was opened up, unfolded. When it was all over, the stars sprinkled around the sky spelled out:


So very nice…” Higgs sang. He set off for home, completely missing that the explosions had inadvertently created the being who would become Higgs’ worst enemy.


In 250=1, I write stories that are exactly 250 words long, including the title.  Here's a list of all of them I've ever written.

All this month, I'm going to try to write holiday-themed stories. Want to try do the same? I'll pay for your story! Click the tab at the top marked "We Pay For Stories" for submission info. 

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

It's an Xmas Miracle!

And I bet you didn't even know that Xmas had been imprisoned!

Starting today, and for the next three days, you can free Xmas... I mean, you can get Xmas free, I mean.

Let me start over. 

The Greatest Xmas Story EVER TOLD 
is now 

"Santa, Godzilla, and Jesus Walk Into A Bar," a/k/a The Greatest Xmas Story Ever Told (By Me).

Nick, a nearly-failed UFO maker, finds a tiny brass trumpet lying in a gutter – moments before a dead body drops from the sky and he’s chased down the street and into a major adventure by Sexy Cop. Before he knows it, Nick is doing battle with Wenceslas’ Xmas Machine, helped by Angels, the Secret Army Under The Bed, and a man in a robe, as attempts at world domination mix in with Nick’s attempts to convince Sexy Cop that they are soulmates. 

"if you've ever wondered what Douglas Adams might have produced if he'd been locked in a room for weeks at a time with only Twinkies and Jolt cola, you should read "Santa, Godzilla... it has that same frenetic energy that Adams has only weirder."
-- Andrew Leon, speculative fiction author.


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