Saturday, November 30, 2013

It’s the Higgs Boson Xmas Special! (250=1)

It’s the Higgs Boson Xmas Special!

I shouldn’t be here,” Higgs crooned into his helmet-mike.

“Higgs, radio silence!” warned CommCent.

Baby it’s cold in space,” Higgs sang, a quavery falsetto.


My ship’s in the clear,” Higgs continued singing.

An Armageddon-Class cruiser appeared, or mostly  appeared, the ship so large only about 1/5 of it appeared in any given dimension, the rest being in alternate universes.

“Baby no hiding place,” Higgs sang, the high voice again.

1,400 different plasma cannons began firing, heating the universe around him but each one missing him (just barely!)

Higgs twisted, turned his ship, spiraled his ship, keeping his finger calm on the mauve button, not pressing it.




The bright red plasmas were joined by greens of detonators mines flung from every surface of the enemy ship, exploding into intricate snowflake-shaped deadly patterns.

This battle has been” Higgs sang, “—Nice that you’d drop in” in a higher key.

He thumbed the mauve button, then. The universe shifted around: every atom of the enemy ship inverted (a neat trick, and fun to watch), along with the plasma and the mines, all turned inside-out, everything for a billion siriometers suddenly was opened up, unfolded. When it was all over, the stars sprinkled around the sky spelled out:


So very nice…” Higgs sang. He set off for home, completely missing that the explosions had inadvertently created the being who would become Higgs’ worst enemy.


In 250=1, I write stories that are exactly 250 words long, including the title.  Here's a list of all of them I've ever written.

All this month, I'm going to try to write holiday-themed stories. Want to try do the same? I'll pay for your story! Click the tab at the top marked "We Pay For Stories" for submission info. 


Andrew Leon said...

Oh, man, his Christmas message created an enemy? That kind of blows.

Briane P said...

Such is the way, in Higgs Boson's universe(s).

Also, don't feel too bad: remember that he blew up/inverted about 10,000 enemy soldiers. While many of them were no doubt evil, others probably just enlisted for a chance to see the other planets, only to find themselves unwittingly serving a government that had grown bloated and corrupt, and now couldn't figure out how to get out -- what with the kids, back home, and their wives just lost their jobs, too, and it's almost Xmas -- so they were doing their best to try to sabotage The Dominion from inside, maybe not much but being you know not quite as fast to fire the plasma cannons. Did they deserve to be inverted and turned into an Xmas message? Maybe, maybe not. These are complicated ethical questions, ones that deserve to be delved into in a thoughtful manner over time, drawing out the very nature of what it means to be 'human' when there are no easy answers and we all have to make choices like this.

Having said that, the next episode will probably see Higgs battling a giant space rhinoceros in order to win over a sexy alien.

Andrew Leon said...

Like the rhinoceros in the swimming pool? Did he survive after all?

You should have an appearance of the Clerks guys discussing all that stuff.

Briane P said...

Rhinoceros in the swimming pool?

Andrew Leon said...

Yeah, it's a Douglas Adams thing. From the book he didn't finish.

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