Books I've Written

Hey!  I do more than just fill up page after page with random thoughts and call it a blog.  I also write books! Here's a listing of all the books I've written, and where you can get them.  If you want to order a book in print, click "Add Print To Cart." That'll take you to the ordering page.

Most of my books are available on Kindle -- it's probably easiest to grab your Kindle and look me up.

I have a standing offer of Buy 3, get 2 free:  If you buy any 3 of my books (in any format) I will give you the other 2 free (in the format of your choice.)  To take advantage of that, once you buy the books, email me proof of your purchases at "thetroublewithroy[at]yahoo.com".  Put "Books" in the subject line.  Your proof can be either an e-receipt, or a scanned receipt, or a picture of you buying the books -- whatever it is you want.



When "Bumpy" takes his sister's fiance out for a night on the town, a mysterious drowning crashes through their lives like a wrecking ball into an already-crumbling wall. Sarah mourns her lost lover by halfheartedly joining a group dedicated to proving there is a serial killer on the loose and jealously guarding her dying mother, while "Bumpy" moves to Las Vegas to take up a new career, only to accidentally stumble into his old one.

Through the course of a year that unfolds haphazardly and out-of-sequence, Bumpy and Sarah try to figure out how much of the past they ought to hold on to, and how much of the future is worth looking into.


 CLICK HERE TO BUY IT FOR JUST $0.99.  It makes the perfect Xmas gift (for someone who likes this book.)





the After
Saoirse's life didn't really begin until it ended: When a plane crashes, Saoirse wakes up in 'the After,' a place where everything is exactly what you want, unless what you want is to not be there.

Confused at first, Saoirse's new... life?... takes a turn for the (more) unexpected when William Howard Taft knocks on her door and says he knows a way out. From there, Saoirse travels through scenarios that are fantastical and mundane at the same time, trying to discover not just a way to end this new existence, but also whether she wants to do that in the first place.

'the After' is a heartbreakingly sad and funny mystical journey through one version of what happens after we die, told through the eyes of a woman clinging to the memory of a life she didn't know she cared about. Thoughtful but action-packed, 'the After' presents an entirely new and not always comforting view of what comes next for us all. 

Click here to buy it on Kindle for just $0.99, or here to buy the paperback from Amazon.








Santa, Godzilla and Jesus Walk Into A Bar...

Nick, a nearly-failed UFO maker, finds a tiny brass trumpet lying in a gutter – moments before a dead body drops from the sky and he’s chased down the street and into a major adventure by Sexy Cop. Before he knows it, Nick is doing battle with Wenceslas’ Xmas Machine, helped by Angels, the Secret Army Under The Bed, and a man in a robe, as attempts at world domination mix in with Nick’s attempts to convince Sexy Cop that they are soulmates.


Santa, etc… is a hilariously offbeat, thrill-a-minute otherworldly adventure that attempts to answer the question “What is the most ridiculous possible explanation for Christmas as we know it.” Said one person: “If Douglas Adams had teamed up with Robert Heinlein to come up with a story to make everyone forget A Christmas Carol, they’d have simply ended up copying this story.” (That person was the author of this story, but still… he said it.)



Go buy the book on your Kindle
.

Available on Amazon as a paperback; click here for that version.






_____________________________________________________________________________
Do Pizza Samples Really Exist (and 117 Other Ways* Of Looking At Life)(*Give Or Take):

How will not paying attention to Paris Hilton destroy the universe? What can be learned about the ultimate nature of good and evil from looking at Peyton Manning and the Kite-Eating Tree? Whose hair is responsible for Hollywood as we know it? In the first part of this book, these and a great many other questions you didn't know you had are answered, in essays that begin by musing about something as prosaic as lime jello and end by pondering the ineluctable, including what "ineluctable means."

In the second half, slice-of-life essays give you a glimpse into the mind of the man behind the thoughts: a man who rescued his children from an inflatable castle but debated whether he should listen to the radio on the way to doing so, a man who was accused by his wife of wanting to use crocodiles as babysitters (and who didn't rule that out.)

"Do Pizza Samples Really Exist?" collects up two prior books from the author, comprising the best of his early work in humorous, thoughtful essays on everything. Buy it on your Kindle for just $0.99!




The Scariest Things, You CAN'T Imagine.

The Scariest Things, You Can't Imagine A shape-shifting demon torments children while their parents stand by. A widower haunted by the ghost of his wife tries to understand her requests. A baby stolen from his mother by gargoyles returns, full of hatred for the life he's led. A family of children raised by grave-robbing corpse stealers tries to discover a way out. An elderly man possesses the power of life and death in his retirement. These stories present images and people who will haunt your thoughts for a long time after you read them. 


Buy it in print, or on Kindle. (Just $0.99 on Kindle!)


Just Exactly How Life Looks

Just Exactly How Life Looks


In   Just Exactly How Life Looks you'll be introduced to unforgettable   people living remarkable lives.  Cowboys wander in a timeless desert.    Scientists meet in secret to plot a new way to get attention, and money,   from people.  A man and his would-be lover try to find lions on  safari,  and more.  The people and places in this book spring to life  fully-formed and full  of anxiety and imagination.  They worry about the  time they have had and  the time they have left.  They bury their loved  ones and look for new  friends.  They talk and laugh and hope and cry  and die, while their  friends and family and enemies and Gods watch  them, seeing, in their  faces and actions and fears, a portrait of just  exactly how life looks.

Buy it on Amazon, just $0.99!
 

Claudius wanted to be the first man to reach the stars. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't... but one thing is certain: It was murder getting there.

In alternating chapters, Claudius' chilling story unfolds as the reader delves more deeply into his troubled mind, taking side trips to his high school, and to a mental hospital or institution where Claudius is everyone and everything. In the end, the reader is left to piece together, with Claudius, what world he actually knew.

"Eclipse" is a mind-bending Mobius strip of a science fiction story in the classic Ray Bradbury style, a book that will haunt you after you put it down.

                                                                                         Buy it on Amazon for as little as $0.99.










Are you the electronic reader type? Get most of these books and my blogs on your Kindle for as low as $0.99.  Click here for details.


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While I indie publish most of my stuff, these people have seen fit to actually publish things I wrote.  So, you know, I've got that going for me:

Harvest Hill (horror anthology):  Featuring my story, Don't Eat My Face, about a man lying trapped in a car wreck while tiny cannibal... things move closer and closer.

HARVEST HILL
31 Tales of Halloween Horror
Welcome to Harvest Hill, Tennessee: a seemingly idyllic community.  But within the shadows of this restful town roams a centuries-old evil that rears itself in some awful form or influence every Halloween when the veil between worlds is thinnest.  We offer a choice crop of truly disturbing accounts - large and small, stretching from the 1700s into the present day - as a warning to all.  If only the residents understood the unspeakable thing that has writhed and raged among them for ages, and keeps growing ...



Buy it from Graveside Tales.




Tabloid Purposes III:  Featuring my story You Know What Happens After Dark: Freddie was a little too close to her dying friend, and now something is trying to use her to come through.


The third installement of the flagship anthology series edited by Lake Fossil Press' founder, Nickolaus A. Pacione (now the featured nonfiction author on Withersin #1.) Some of the authors in this anthology are Donna Burgess (AWAKE GHOST SONG,) J.M. Heluk, Ken Goldman, Alex Rivera, Casey Gordon, Paige Smith, and Mary Rose -- plus a host of other writers including J.R. Cain (Dark Animus Magazine,) and Charles O'Conner, III. Get ready for a collection that is designed to entertain the reader.

Buy it from Lulu.







My stories have also appeared in Conceit Magazine, The Truth Magazine, and my original short story "Thinking The Lions" appeared on The Adirondack Review (and now is in Just Exactly How Life Looks, above.)

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